Do You Have Stress?

HIGH STRESS DIET

BREAKFAST

½ Grapefruit

1 Slice Whole Wheat Toast, Dry

8 oz. Skimmed Milk

LUNCH

4 oz. Lean Broiled Chicken Breast

1 Cup Steamed Spinach

1 Cup Herb Tea

1 Oreo Cookie

MID – AFTERNOON SNACK

½ Pound Hot Nuts

1 Pint Rocky Road Ice Cream

Balance of Oreo Cookies in Package

DINNER

Large Salad with ¾ cup Dressing

2 Loaves Cheese Garlic Bread

1 – 16 oz Porterhouse Steak

1 Baked Potato, Large

1 Cup pinto “cowboy” beans

1 Pint Mint Chocolate Ice Cream

LATE EVENING NEWS

2 Pints Butter Pecan Ice Cream

½ Pound Chocolate Peanut Butter Praline Fudge

2 Cashew Wheels, Diet Sugar Free

RULES FOR THIS DIET

1. If you eat something, and no one sees you eat it, it has no calories.
2. If you drink a diet soda with fudge or ice cream, those calories are cancelled out by the diet soda.
3. When you eat with someone, calories don’t count if you don’t eat more than they do.
4. Foods used for medical purposes NEVER count, such as Chocolate Rum Walnut Fudge, Pina Coloda Fudge or any sugar free candy.
5. If you fatten up everyone else around you, you look thinner.
6. Movie related foods do not have additional calories because they are part of the entire entertainment package and are not part of one’s personal fuel. Examples: Buttered Popcorn, Fudge Turtles, etc.
7. Cookie or candy pieces contain NO CALORIES. The process of breakage causes calorie leakage.
8. Items licked off knives and spoons have no calories, if you are in the process of preparing something. Examples: Chocolate Amaretto Fudge while cutting, or ice cream on a spoon while dipping or making a sundae.
9. Foods that are the same color have the same calories. Examples: Spinach & Pistachio Nuts; Mushrooms & Vanilla Fudge or White Chocolate.

HAPPY STRESS DIETING

I sincerely hope this spoof lightens your day.

Much success in all you do!

Cal

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